The Courageous Process of Grieving in a Grief-Phobic Society | Grief


Grief: Deep and Poignant Distress

There will be seasons of your life illuminated by searing contrast.
Deep sweetness and holy grace. 
Deep loss and holy cleansing. 

If you have walked the transformative pain of saying goodbye to someone -or multiple someones- important to you, I’m truly sorry for your loss.

Grief is an intense experience of human life and our society is grief-phobic.

Most people haven’t learnt how to make peace with their own grief so it makes it challenging to be sensitive, present or allowing with another’s grief.

Be positive. Focus on the times you had together. Focus on what went right. Don’t dwell on what you’ve lost but what you have.

All valuable wisdom- at the right time.

Though in these messages is the subtle judgement that grief is negative.

Something to be avoided or at least ‘gotten through’ quickly, neatly and with less disruption to the status quo as possible.

To those that are lion- hearted through times of feeling broken-hearted, to those that surrender to the healing alchemy of grief that changes them, I honour you.

Grieving is valuable.

Being present with grief leads us back to clarity and wholeness. It illuminates that which is most important to us. It shakes loose our illusions of how we wanted things to be and allows us to come into alignment with how things are.

Grief, when we allow it, shatters our heart and our mind open wide to new form.

The pain of loss is not a pathology, despite what the current western medical model would suggest.

Except of course, when it is.

If you have grieved, or are still grieving now, you might have sensed a symbolic life or death soul alchemy taking place within you.

Grieving is an invitation to listen so minutely, so precisely to your inner voice that will lead you to healing.

The intersection of clarity about how things are and what is most important to us, is the clean slate for an empowered WHAT NOW and WHAT NEXT.

This isn’t a process to be rushed but to be allowed.

Time + Presence + Intention = Powerful Medicine.

This point on the wheel of the year- New Year- is a natural time of reflection of what has been.

If these words have some resonance with your experience of the past 12 months and you did not achieve some of the goals you set for yourself at the beginning of the year, please remember that you did not ‘fail’, that you are still here in the room.

You are wiser from your descent.
Your rise will be richer.
Your gratitude more profuse.

Or if you are still tender, trust the wisdom and gratitude will come.

You have permission to feel it all.

Thank you. I love you. I’m sorry.

May your next steps be bathed in an abundance of light.


With Compassion,


Don't Let Your Past Destroy Your Future

What stories are keeping you from BEING the you that you desire to be? 

What stories are keeping you from LIVING the life that you desire to live?

What old pain is still sitting deep in your belly that you’ve yet to let go of and probably aren’t even aware that its there?

The results you are creating right now in your life are a reflection of what you are unconsciously committed to. A reflection of what you believe and what you feel.

How do you feel reading that today? 



What comes up for you?

To claim ownership of the life you’ve created is a lot easier to do when you are happy with the people, opportunities and experiences turning up for you, and when you are in tune with and expressing the exalted parts of your personality.

At those times it’s natural to be grateful and full of joy and genius for your life.

But what about the times when you look around you, and within you, and are in conflict about what you see?

How challenging it is then to claim ownership of the life you’ve created and oh so much easier to place sovereignty outside of yourself.

So much easier to feel angry, beaten, pessimistic or completely overwhelmed with all the seemingly insurmountable obstacles to your happiness and freedom.

I get it. Being human is a bit of a hard rub sometimes.

Some pretty messed up things happen to true and decent people.

How you respond-or react-on a consistent basis shapes your life and your character.

When shit does in fact happen-despite your best intentions or plans-it is an opportunity to release what no longer serves. 

You’ve got to keep clearing the old stories and the old hurts out.

Clearing them out of your body and out of your mind.

Your soul, your intuition, your life guides you on what you are still holding onto-consciously or unconsciously-that is weighing you down and keeping you stuck in THAT old loop instead of the life, the relationship, the business, the purpose that YOU KNOW is yours to live.

As an intentional human, you know you are different. Special even.

Not in an egotistical, messiah complex kind of way, but in a way that you know you tend to swim against the tide of conformity.  In some way you’re a maverick.  A black sheep. A bit of a weirdo. I say that with admiration, you crazy diamond you. 

You see the world through eyes that the majority don’t.

And even when you find a tribe of others that share a similar vision to you, you still have this hungry questioning in you of how to shake things up to bring even more of your love, your brilliance, your divine intelligence through you into your relationships, your work, your soul calling, your health, your BEING and your DOING in the world.

Along the way you’ve been projected onto, misunderstood, blatantly shamed and attacked, you’ve messed up, played a role in others’ suffering and created a lot of your own suffering too. 

All this unprocessed emotional energy and mental clutter slows you down. Dulls your shine.

It makes you scared to stand in the centre of the stage of your life and say this is me and this is what I think, this is what I feel, this is what I want, this is what I have to offer. 

Wild one, you’ve got to release what is potentially destructive so the Life that wants to come through you can grow.

If you don’t release what is in you it weighs down your soul.

When not transformed by the light of your loving awareness, your unconscious feelings and thoughts, which drive your actions, can lead you off path from where your inner genius in yearning to go.

Your inner genius knows the potential of the life you are meant to be living, and when you aren’t living that, it hurts.

The self-doubt and loss of personal power cuts into your self-esteem. And that adds another layer of pain that you carry in your body and emotionality that covers up the shining YOU you know you are at your core and want to express more fully in the world.

The pain of not living your genius has purpose though. It’s a call to wake up.

Because it’s a given that you’ll fall asleep over and over again on your path.

In moving into the life, the relationships, the meaningful work, the health and vitality, the prosperity, the service to humanity that your inner genius is calling you to, YOU WILL plateau.
YOU WILL come up against internal upper limits that will unconsciously control your behaviour to stop you moving towards that which you so desperately want to receive, be and create in life.
Unless you ARE COMMITTED every day to show up and do the inner and outer work despite how you FEEL, you WILL STALL.

Your protective mechanisms that keep you from experiencing what you say you desire will come up with a grand excuse of why it’s not possible for you or why you’re motivation has waned or why not you, and why not now.

Until of course the pain of not having what you want fires you up again and then your motivation will return and then you’ll turn up committed to do the work again. And so the cycle continues.

But you can wake up anytime and get back on the path of your inner genius. You don’t have to wait for pain to be the motivating factor.

When you develop a clear and committed relationship with yourself and make a decision to do the work necessary to bring your A game to life, you become familiar with consistently challenging and supporting yourself to let go of limiting beliefs and heal old pain.

An inherent part of life cycling is release. Death. Letting go.

Destruction is an archetype, a pattern of energy that exists across all cultures.

Failure. Collapse. Loss. It turns up in all of our lives. It’s part of the human journey. But it’s just one turn of the wheel, not a final stop.

Destruction and creation. You need them both. Support and challenge. Necessary to your success.

Part of living intentionally is reflecting on what illusions do you need to consciously destroy so your dreams can flourish?


I wanted to share with you the dynamic questions I asked my own intuition this week in my journal that cracked open about 6 pages of old beliefs, feelings, memories that were ripe for clearing.

Pull out your journal, or any scrap of paper will do, and ask your subconscious mind to respond to the following questions:

What pain am I carrying  (in my womb*) that I’m ready to release? 

(*Part of the feminine presence practices I personally use and teach work with the untapped intelligence of the womb but if that doesn’t fly with you just ask your own version of that question. What pain am I carrying in my body that I’m ready to release? Or simply, what pain am I carrying that I’m ready to release?)

What stories are keeping me from expressing my full potential?

What experiences am I ready to forgive? (Self and others)

When you do the work of allowing it to flow and release the thoughts, feelings memories that are blocking you from taking action on what you want to experience in life, love and your service in the world, you can then powerfully lay down a new track for you to lean into.

Once you’ve tapped the wisdom of what’s ready to be released, then journal the following questions:

What now has space to grow in my womb, my heart, my life?

What new experiences am I ready to create?

What new stories do I want to plant in (my womb) the centre of my being? 

Trust your subconscious mind with what it brings up. Just follow the thread.

Don’t try to analyse and shut the flow down. Don’t think that your conscious mind knows better than your subconscious mind of what needs to be released. Just back off and allow it to bubble up.

Just back your rationality off and create a curious and compassionate witnessing space inside you for whatever needs to come up, to come up.

You can then work with what comes up in what ever you are guided to. Burn the pages. Use EFT to tap on the flushed out limiting beliefs or memories to bring the charge down to zero. Dialogue with the inner parts that emerge and bring loving mothering to any wounded younger selves. Process it with your trusted guide or get some healing around what came up for you.

How ever you choose to interact with yourself and whether you choose to do this powerful exercise, or not, I hope you go to bed tonight knowing that you are loved. You are supported. You are deserving. You are enough.

To your creative power in realising your deepest desires- whatever they may be in this present moment!

Be well,



Just go in.

Whatever is happening in your world right now,

Just go in.

Have you uprooted your life, moved across country and are yet to drop a new and stable anchor?

Just go in.

Are you bringing your art, your message, your calling to the world and keep smacking up against your own inner limitations so your creative process right now showing up less about ease and more about anxiety?

Just go in.

Do you feel like you are pushing sh*t up hill when it comes to your health and you’re sick and tired of feeling sick and tired?

Just go in.

Is there growing dissatisfaction and resentment building in one (or more) of your relationships that you allow to consume more of your precious energy than you know is healthy?

Just go in.

Find yourself in the midst of a significant change in how you view your life and how you relate to everything in it?

Just go in.

 Gold Divider

Just go in.

What does going in look like for you today?

Have you engaged with your foundational practices?

Whether the practices that keep you aligned and aware are:

  • journalling
  • yoga
  • inner selves dialogue
  • meditation
  • simply being still and connecting with your centre

Have you sat on the mat-metaphorically speaking-and turned up for yourself today on what is alive and calling for your loving attention?

Have you turned up for the conversation with your super-conscious mind on how to lean into your genius and bring more of that to your life, your relationships, your work?

If you haven’t, why not?

You are your priority.

Knowing, growing and celebrating yourself is the centre point for everything you do or do not eventuate in the world.

So again, you are your priority. 

When you’re not creating, living, loving, serving from your core you’re out of alignment.

You are wasting time, energy and money.

And worse than that, you’re keeping yourself in the illusion that you are separate from the source of what would set you free.

Your soul’s knowing of which disowned and fragmented parts of self that need to be integrated on the path of being happy, healthy and serving the world well.

Your soul’s knowing of which next step to make to amplify all the good in your life and bring even more of that to you.

That innate movement towards wholeness.

That inner medicine that washes clear worries, old stories and anything that is not the Truth of who you are and what is possible for you, and reminds you of the infinite potential of your being.

And that work, my friends, is an everyday commitment.

Just like brushing your teeth.

You don’t brush your teeth on the first day of the month and expect to wake up on the second day of the month with minty fresh breath. Hell no. You get up and brush your teeth again.

And while you’re brushing your teeth do you judge your teeth, tongue and mouth for getting all funky again overnight?

No, you just get on with it and complete your oral hygiene routine without complaint.

So why complain or get discouraged about the fact that inner work is a constant commitment?

Coming home to Self is a life long unfolding, so why make up stories about how either you suck or they suck?

Stories like:

  • I’m not [insert preferred self judgement here] enough
  • I’m too [insert preferred self judgement here]
  • I should [insert preferred self judgement here]
  • I’d be happier, healthier, more successful if only [the government/my partner/my parents/those people]  were [insert preferred judgement here]
  • I’d be happier, healthier, more successful if only [some external situation out of your control] that you use as an excuse to not follow the whispers of your heart


Living an intentional life requires you to tune into your inner world everyday and then take inspired daily action in the direction of your soul deep desires.

Some desires are quick to achieve results and some will be a life long adventure for you.

Some desires will dissipate and lose their appeal as new ones sprout from within.

Some desires will materialise like magic and others will be born through the fortitude of blood, sweat and tears.

What matters is that everyday you are living as awake, present and alive as you can.

And most people?

They don’t.

They move through this precious life asleep.

Not you though, you switched on and sensitive human.

You’re here not only to (continually) wake up – you know you’re here to help wake up those around you too. 

And that drives you forward on your own healing path.

To keep doing the work that you do.

To keep speaking truth the way you do.

To keep questioning and deep diving the way you do.

You know that you’re a link breaker.

And so, my friend, that’s why I’m writing to you today.

To touch in with you with a reminder of the importance of doing your inner work to super charge the outer work that you are doing.

And to encourage you to keep turning up.

To keep knowing, growing and celebrating you.

Be well,