The Courageous Process of Grieving in a Grief-Phobic Society

The Courageous Process of Grieving in a Grief-Phobic Society | Grief


Grief: Deep and Poignant Distress

There will be seasons of your life illuminated by searing contrast.
Deep sweetness and holy grace. 
Deep loss and holy cleansing. 

If you have walked the transformative pain of saying goodbye to someone -or multiple someones- important to you, I’m truly sorry for your loss.

Grief is an intense experience of human life and our society is grief-phobic.

Most people haven’t learnt how to make peace with their own grief so it makes it challenging to be sensitive, present or allowing with another’s grief.

Be positive. Focus on the times you had together. Focus on what went right. Don’t dwell on what you’ve lost but what you have.

All valuable wisdom- at the right time.

Though in these messages is the subtle judgement that grief is negative.

Something to be avoided or at least ‘gotten through’ quickly, neatly and with less disruption to the status quo as possible.

To those that are lion- hearted through times of feeling broken-hearted, to those that surrender to the healing alchemy of grief that changes them, I honour you.

Grieving is valuable.

Being present with grief leads us back to clarity and wholeness. It illuminates that which is most important to us. It shakes loose our illusions of how we wanted things to be and allows us to come into alignment with how things are.

Grief, when we allow it, shatters our heart and our mind open wide to new form.

The pain of loss is not a pathology, despite what the current western medical model would suggest.

Except of course, when it is.

If you have grieved, or are still grieving now, you might have sensed a symbolic life or death soul alchemy taking place within you.

Grieving is an invitation to listen so minutely, so precisely to your inner voice that will lead you to healing.

The intersection of clarity about how things are and what is most important to us, is the clean slate for an empowered WHAT NOW and WHAT NEXT.

This isn’t a process to be rushed but to be allowed.

Time + Presence + Intention = Powerful Medicine.

This point on the wheel of the year- New Year- is a natural time of reflection of what has been.

If these words have some resonance with your experience of the past 12 months and you did not achieve some of the goals you set for yourself at the beginning of the year, please remember that you did not ‘fail’, that you are still here in the room.

You are wiser from your descent.
Your rise will be richer.
Your gratitude more profuse.

Or if you are still tender, trust the wisdom and gratitude will come.

You have permission to feel it all.

Thank you. I love you. I’m sorry.

May your next steps be bathed in an abundance of light.


With Compassion,